What is Really Getting in My Way of An Amazing Relationship?
Vancouver Therapist Pulls Away the Curtain Behind Relationship Therapy and Reveals the Secrets to Lasting Relationships with an Unheard-of FREE 2 Hour Intensive Coaching Experience–Making Other “Experts” Livid…
…And Finally Giving You a Road Map Through Your Relationship Problems. Free.
“The average couple spends only 2% of their total waking hours with each other” (Huffington Post).
With work, chores, and the distractions of texting and social media, our partnerships have a lot to compete with. No wonder we all feel so worn down, and relationships that may have succeeded a decade or two ago are not able to make it in the insanity of today’s quick fix, constant distraction, throw-away-and-upgrade culture.
It’s time we all recognize that just like our cars machinery needs to be serviced every few months to prevent regular wear and tear from turning into big problems, the machinery of our relationship needs to be tuned-up on a regular basis.
Resentments build, and ways of coping that may have worked for us in the past no longer are effective. No matter how good your relationship, all relationships take constant work, and the right type of tools for communication and connection must always be nurtured if we don’t wish things to get stagnant.
“If your relationship is not growing, it is dying, it just might be withering slower than you can notice.”
But it doesn’t need to be this way.
As it can be hard to spot when a vehicle’s part needs replacing if we are not mechanics, so too is it hard to spot our blindspots, many of them resulting from unconscious, automatic learning we have ingrained from past relationships, family, society, and life events. These blindspots often are hard to see (this is of course, why they call it a blind-spot and the un-conscious) and harder to get rid of as they likely have helped us get through and survive these traumas for a time (yes, trauma, you don’t have to be a soldier to have suffered the effects). However, as you may have felt, just surviving is not a great feeling, but it’s not ultimately what you want out of life and your relationships, is it?
“Live like no one else will for a year, to live like no one else can for a lifetime.”
Benefits of the 2-Hour Relationship Breakthru Session:
- Tailored learning and advice for your situation from a trusted Masters-level professional counsellor with over 10 years in the human services field, a supervisor of other counsellors and coaches, meaning thousands of hours in helping clients overcome their barriers to relationship success, whether clients are simply looking to have more peace and happiness in the relationships they have, or overcoming even the most complex relationship situations (e.g. never dated, single and divorced for years, trust/betrayal issues, mental illness in one or both partners, high intensity conflict)
- Opportunity to completely pick my brain regarding relationships, including what are the common stumbling blocks singles, couples, and parents make, and what to keep in mind when searching for relationship and other life professionals (therapists, coaches, experts) that give you the best fit for your particular situation, pointing you in the right direction for further knowledge
- Leave with a list of game-changing resources and techniques you can use right away to improve connection and satisfaction with your partner, future dates, friends, colleagues, clients, or even yourself
- Handout of the 7 Principles of Making Marriage and other relationships work (derived from Dr. John Gottman’s 30 years of research with over 3000 couples) with bonus content on what I see works best to keep people together and happy from the research and practice I have performed with couples, singles, clients, and other professionals over the past 10 years
- Increased clarity and confidence to finally make the changes you are hoping for in your life and relationships, sooner
Isn’t this just a way to hook me in to do future work with you?
Yes, yes it is. I would love for you to see how my unique method of bringing intensive step-by-step coaching to therapy, my humour, and my years of experience can be tailored to help you, your partner, your family, or team with their relationship struggles. I believe I bring something to therapy that many feel is missing.
However, the 2-Hour Break Thru Session is totally free, is not a sales session, and there is no obligation to continue with me whatsoever. If you like, I will happily point you to other relationship professionals who have a different style that may be better fitted to you. Therapist-client fit is critical to progress, and I believe I have an ethical duty to help you find the best possible match for your unique situation.
I have read lots of material about relationships…Can’t I just figure things out on my own? I fear I could become dependent on therapists/therapy/other “experts” for years, is this true?
A coach on your side, a guide with a map is what is needed. This is especially true when it comes to relationships, an area where even the most intelligent, driven performers have trouble with.
In fact, the majority of my clients are ambitious, successful professionals, many of them with a wealth of relationship knowledge. What they all share, however, is a desire to be fully present in their relationships–whether it is a first date, their long-time partner, or with their children, or their clients, friends, and colleagues . My clients want their relationships to be on the level of satisfaction and success they have in the other areas of their lives, and are longing for a depth of connection and passion others might not dare to dream of. In order to do this, we need the help of experienced mentors, sometimes that is hanging out with amazing married people, for others, it is a professional like me.
Don’t therapists become therapists because they are “messed up” and want to take attention off their own life and feel better about themselves by helping me? Don’t relationship therapists have the worst relationships?
I think the main thing you are thinking here is: “Couldn’t therapy make things worse?” If you go about it like many people do, and pick the lowest-cost therapist who lives the closest to them, you are more likely to face this issue–in therapy, as in any other field. This is because many therapists don’t have supervised practice in relationships, and most or all of their experience has been helping individuals, or trying to take theories and practices that work well for individuals, and cut and paste them them to couples, families, teams, or even singles specifically seeking to improve their relationships. This is a recipe for disaster–the equivalent of taking a hammer to repair an engine because it’s the only tool available.
Myself, and other therapists who carry the Relationship Experts Vancouver (REV) name, have years of specialized training and practice in practices (such as Gottman Method and Emotionally-Focused Therapy) that show strong evidence in increasing the emotional connection of relationships (this can be measured), making them more satisfied, with less conflict, for the long-term.
Also, myself and REV professionals must show that they are living out the principles of healthy relationships in their work and personal lives. They must have attended intensive group and individual therapy themselves in the past to know what it is like for clients and be aware of their own blindspots and must excitedly seek more supervision and training out regularly.
We believe in the saying “You are the equivalent of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” For example, I have been in my current relationship for over 3 years and we are excited to soon be married. Another professional I refer clients regularly to is single, has been married in the past, has amazingly deep friendships and work relationships that I am envious of, and is the epitomy of ethical and conscious dating and living a full life.
Your therapist or relationship professional doesn’t have to be in a relationship, or be perfect, in order to help you, but it is right to be careful and look for certain traits–read more about what works and doesn’t with therapy and therapists when it comes to relationships at my blog, particularly “The 8 Things Couples Need to Know about Couples Therapy.”
Can you put aside your doubts for a moment and allow yourself to dream what is possible in your relationship? Are you willing to brave some initial butterflies and a bit of hard work for long-term happiness? Only you can answer this question, but thankfully you don’t have to figure it out on your own–this is what our 2 hour coaching experience is all about. This is the equivalent of 2 hours of free therapy (over $300 value), only better, specifically targeting the key issues holding you back from the kind of relationships you want.
If you are willing to take the leap, complete the following assessment and see if you qualify for a 2 Hr intensive session with me via Skype/Facetime or In-Person at your home, coffee shop, or one of our multiple locations across Metro Vancouver/the Fraser Valley. Know that I will contact everyone who completes the assessment, but there is a limited number of spaces I reserve for these intensive sessions, and only those who meet the criteria will be considered.
Take a close look at yourself. If you continue to do what you have been doing, what will be different about your life and relationships in 3 months? What if you could avoid months or years of pain, disconnection, frustration, and get to your goals sooner?
Are you satisfied with the status quo in your relationship, or are you one of the brave ones ready to Break Thru?